Cinderella story is full of 💩, so I took my unicorns and flew off into the sunset

Yesterday was my thirtieth-year anniversary. Why should I care? Our divorce was pronounced nine years ago, and I’m a better and happier person since my separation. My unexpected sadness puzzled me until I realized that it was not my marriage I was grieving, but the Cinderella story I signed up for when I said yes at the altar.

I was just shy of twenty-four, and the day I put on my wedding dress and faced my soon-to-be husband in front of family and friends in one of the most beautiful Parisian synagogues, is still one of my happiest memories. I thought I had found my Prince Charming, my forever story. Except that nobody tells us that once the Prince and Cinderella walk toward the happily ever after, they are going to have to face this thing called Life.

To me, the plan was simple: to love each other was enough. We would get kids, face challenges together, support one another, make the other one happy. Later in life our kids would grow up and have their own babies, that we would surround with love the same way our parents did for our own children.

When did the plan go wrong? Probably when we realized that loving the other was not enough and that we needed to love ourselves first. Once I found that “ever after” was a hell of a long time to accept someone’s else issues, let alone deal with my own challenges, the sandcastle collapsed, and Cinderella ended up single.

Life as a single princess has been really fun and eye opening. I became aware of the lies that were put in my head. I’m not good enough” and “I need someone to sweep me off my feet and save me”, are just that…Lies. I am strong, independent, resourceful, powerful and I can be my own Fairy Godmother and buy my own sparkly dress to go dance under the sun (or the stars for that matter) as I wish. Over the years, I became the Queen of my own Queendom and chose who I want to welcome in. I get to celebrate seeing my kids and now grandkid grow up and I enjoy my freedom.

The only problem is the little girl dreaming of fairies and butterflies is still inside of me, and she is so sad. So, to my twenty-three-year-old, I want to say:

“Girl, you are beautiful, amazing, strong and your heart is wide open. You don’t need anyone to love you, you are loved no matter what. You can choose to love, though. If and whom you want. Sharing your existence with someone can be fabulous, but choose wisely. Whatever happens to you, never forget that you are a magical being who can create the most amazing life for yourself. When things get rough, smile, because it will get better eventually. Forget the fairy tales they told you, real life is way more fun than the stories you were read. Nobody can take your dreams away because you can always create new dreams. If things don’t go as you imagined, imagine better, stronger, and even cooler. Life has this way of surprising you, and most often for the best. Hang on for the most amazing ride you can envision: Life itself.”

Then, my fifty-three-year-old self will take my most magnificent unicorns — after all they are way more efficient than mice — and I will go pick up that young woman to let her to see her life. And she will smile because even though life is not a Cinderella story, it is still a really nice adventure.

Grieving your Cinderella story? Time to create your life!
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