Joie de Vivre: 7 secrets to find Joy
Sitting at the terrace of a coffee shop on a weekday afternoon. The sun is bright, a soft breeze freshens the air. Spring is almost here, and it feels so good to be outside even though we are one year into this crazy pandemic. Life continues its course as so many people suffer, and I wonder how dare I even experience the bliss of this simple moment. A moment made of little nothings, just peace, calm and simple pleasure. A warm tea and a cake reminding me of childhood. No expectation, no to do list, no fear in the back of my mind. Just being at peace, just being happy, content by myself, with myself.
Years ago, I would have celebrated this moment, freely. My heart-would be-singing. I would be smiling and sharing it with anyone who would listen. Somehow back then it was okay to be in joy. I deserved it because I had just experienced pain. I had been through a divorce and was reinventing myself from the ground up. I had experienced a “dark night of the soul” and was still standing. It felt only fair that now I finally had the right to smile, laugh and dance. Unless it was just the contrast of finally enjoying life when just few months prior, I thought my heart would be broken forever.
As I wonder how to find joy when the world is in pain, I also realize that we have to claim our right to joy to change the world for a better one. So here are few secrets I want to share on how to find Joy:
1-There are so many definitions of what joy actually is.
From this ecstatic moment of perfection where all he stars align to a softer feeling of peace that has no rhythm or reason but just is. What does joy look like to you? How can you recognize it?
2- Joy comes and goes.
It’s a feeling that is often experienced in the contrast, so next time you feel sad or angry, don’t block it, don’t reject it. Feeling unpleasant feelings is part of enjoying the pleasure of their absence. After all the rebirth of spring is only possible because winter exists. Was there a moment when you thought your heart was broken forever only to discover that suffering doesn’t have to last?
3- Joy Is.
Of course it’s easier to experience it when things go your way, when you are healthy, have enough money and are surrounded by loved ones. But that is not all. Joy can also be observed in the most painful moment of life. Find at least three things that can bring you joy no matter what. What is it? A walk in nature? Talking to a friend? Looking at a bird flying in the sky?
4- Joy can be a choice.
A good friend was the most joyful person I knew. She had lost two kids and still I always remember her with a smile on her lips. Her way of explaining it was that being sad would not bring them back and that she had decided to be happy even with the pain. Every morning, can you imagine what your day would look like if you were to choose Joy?
5- Joy Is a muscle to be exercised.
The more you are in joy, the more you recognize it. Focus on the positive, practice gratefulness, be kind and joy will come more and more easily to you. Carry a little notebook everywhere with you and write down each moment of joy. When in a dark time, don’t forget to reread those moments.
6- Joy doesn’t have anything to do with others.
Of course, there are joyful moments to be experienced: a wedding, a celebration, a birth… But in fact, joy can be just for you, by yourself, just because. And that joy is magnificent. Was there a moment of pure joy that you can recall? Any time? As a kid or an adult?
7- Being in joy won’t take anything away from others.
Yes, people suffer, and people die and still it’s okay to be feeling joy. Not because you are not them, but because you are you. And the more people celebrate this joy, the easier it will be for everyone. Fear can’t grow in a heart full of love. Move your attention to your body and close your eyes. Feel where this feeling of joy is in your body and take the time to breathe as you feel it.
So here I am, still sitting on the terrace of the coffee shop as people came and go and I just realize that Joy like Love is such a big word that it can get scary sometimes. It’s this thing we are all striving for. Something so big and at the same time so simple. Just a moment to acknowledge that life is good.
A moment of “Joie de vivre”. A moment in joy. Enjoy.
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If you want to reconnect with your Joie de Vivre, let’s talk https://schedulefabyoulicious.as.me/letstalk
