Women like you are a Tsunami.

My love letter to the Strong Women

Here we are, another evening at home, alone. Another moment looking at the sky wondering why. Why women like me and like many of my friends, have such a hard time finding our special person? After all, we are quite beautiful, smart, kind, loving, independent, worldly and fun. Most of you would say we are a catch. Unfortunately, it seems like no one wants to catch us. At least no one we would accept being with.

A guy friend finally explained that mystery: “Women like you are like a tsunami. When seeing a tsunami, most people run in the other direction. And then, there will be this this brave one, this special one who will take a surfboard and ride the most magnificent wave they’ve ever seen.”

This phrase still resonates in my mind as I’m once again not willing to settle for less than what my heart wants and deserves. If you are reading this, you are probably a Tsunami too, unless you are the wild enough, crazy enough, strong enough one, willing to brave the elements. If you are that man (or woman), you are a lucky one. Be ready to be loved more than you have ever been. Tsunami women are the most wonderful beings. We are queens of intimacy, provider of luck, tenderness and passion, and when treated kindly we will bring sunshine into every aspect of your life.

Now, if you are a Tsunami, there is a good chance you describe yourself as a Light worker, Goddess, Empath, or more simply put Strong Woman. Someone who has much love to give and no one to receive this fabulous treasure. If this is you, hang in there. I know it’s hard, but you are on the right path. Just watch for those pitfalls:

• You are a magnet for the “bad guys”: the narcissists, the toxic ones, the ones who take you for a few days or a few years only to toss you like an old sock after breaking your heart. Your light is attractive to their darkness. They want what they can’t find inside of their own heart: your liveliness. They want it and will rip it away from your core to parade it around like a trophy.
• Extra bonus if you are smart and beautiful. A true narcissist will not be interested in a woman who is less than what he sees in himself. He is the best after all. “God’s gift to women” as one of my ex-lovers would describe himself. He will say you are the best thing he’s ever seen, praise your beauty, your power and your mind. Once you are trapped in his fake sweetness, he will build a wall between you and him. He will criticize, put you down, and make you doubt your own sanity. He will use your sharp mind and your willingness to love and forgive against you. Once you have lost your self-esteem, your shininess, your vibrancy and any sense of hope… then he will discard you.
• You appeal to the “broken souls”. Broken comes in so many flavors but, whatever the reason of the pain they carry in their heart, they can’t love you either. Not because of their lack of love for you but because of their lack of love for themselves. How can you give to another person something you don’t have? Those apparently “good guys” often have the effect of black holes. You will keep on filling their cup over and over again. Reassuring them, cajoling them, rebuilding them, loving them in any way you can imagine. But if there is an open gap in their heart, all your love will not be enough, and you will come out of it drained and exhausted. You might see their potential, but if they can’t see it, they are a lost cause.
• You attract the “non available ones”. The married, the avoiders, the physically or emotionally unavailable. No, you are not stupid nor crazy. You just believe that your love will be enough and that they will choose you. Unfortunately, ninety-nine percent of the time, they won’t, and you will end up on the side of the road blaming yourself for not seeing it earlier.
• ïA part of you enjoys a good challenge. Being light workers, we want to bring joy to the darkest of souls. Who doesn’t like a “Miracle Journey Story” after all? “We met… We fell in love… The odds were stacked against us… But we knew we were soulmates, meant to be… Our love healed us, and we lived happily ever after.” Cinderella stories are responsible for so many regrets that we even sabotage what could be a nice simple relationship based on kindness, growth and respect because we dream of a utopic Prince Charming.

If you recognize yourself in one of these descriptions, you’re not alone. Don’t despair. I thought of quitting and staying single so many times. But taking love out of life would be like draining the water out of the ocean: a desert with no purpose nor joy. Tsunami Women are meant to love and be loved. What is the purpose of having a heart made of pure gold if you can’t share it with someone?

So, let’s keep on going. Remember you are a Tsunami after all: magnificent, powerful and unstoppable.

1. Acknowledge your power. No matter what happened. No matter how many times you were hurt, rejected, dismissed or disappointed, you must remember who you are. A strong, beautiful, smart, worldly and fun being. Remind yourself of what you have accomplished so far: the successes you have manifested, the heartbreaks you have survived, the people you have inspired.

2. Don’t let anyone tell you are less than. Not any man, not any woman, not even yourself. You may have your moments of doubts but do not let them limit you or break your spirit. This strength exists in your chore. It is part of your essence. Embrace it.

3. Don’t limit yourself in order to please others. If your strength scares the person you are with, they are not for you. If they avoid you and hide, they are too weak for you. If they try to limit your growth, remember that you are limitless because your power comes from within. If they don’t know how or can’t deal with this power, too bad for them.

4. It’s not you job to save them. If your wave is too big, too impressive for them, they will have to learn how to swim or step away. A Tsunami can’t be stopped by anyone. Not even by you. You may not be for everyone, but after all you don’t need to please everyone.

5. Respect your ebbs and flows. When you look at the ocean, you will see the waves and the tide coming in and going out. It’s part of Nature. It’s part of your nature as well. Take the time to regroup when life gets hard. It doesn’t mean that you are weak. It means that you are gathering your strength to come back, more majestic than ever. Be kind to yourself in those moments.

6. Do your personal work. Even the most beautiful ocean can get polluted. Clean your soul, your mind, your body. Let go of old relationships, old limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors. Free yourself from regrets, resentments and forgive yourself and others. With great power comes great responsibility. And the most important one is you being in charge of your own physical, mental and spiritual health.

7. Get tender once in a while. After the storm comes the calm. Celebrate peace, joy and simple pleasures. Take the time to rest and love yourself the way you want to be loved. After all, how can you attract something if you don’t give it to yourself.

8. Divine timing has a rhythm. It’s called “divine” for a reason. It’s bigger than you and you may not always understand the “Why” but it is. Patience is such a difficult word for strong women but it’s one worth learning. Trust that your special someone is there. Trust that he will find you.

9. You don’t have to prove your strength over and over again. When you have found a nice man, someone who is sweet and strong at the same time, your unique man, allow him to climb on his surfboard to ride the wave. Stop sabotaging the possibility of a great adventure just because you’re not sure if he’s strong enough. Stop testing his balance. Give him a chance to give you his love, give yourself a chance to receive it. Even Tsunamis must go with the flow.

One day you will be here, shinning your light into the world. You will see him walking toward you. He will grab his surfboard and look at the giant wave in front of him. And when you least expect it, he will jump in the water to be one with you.

If you recognize yourself in this article and want to let go of the old patterns, block, resentments, regrets…, reconnect to your power and attract better relationships, let’s talk.