Wonder Woman is Tired
11 Tricks to Get Your Sanity Back in this Busy World
I come from France, country of the 35 hours workweek and Joie de Vivre, still after twenty-three years in Silicon Valley, I noticed I tend to overwork, overthink and overdo. Sounds familiar?
Nowadays many women become victim from the Wonder Woman syndrome: Professional, Mom, Lover, Partner … So many roles!!!! And obviously, you try to balance all of those as perfectly as possible. Sorry, Wonder Woman is tired.
My coach once asked me if I was a Human Being or a Human Doing. True, I take care of my family, am here for my friends, grow my business, support my clients, go exercise almost daily and literally run from point A to B every day, but I’m sure I have it easy compare to many who also raise young kids or commute for hours to work, so what was she referring to?
One of my early clients was this amazing woman who was not only working full time at a nine to five job, but also supporting her husband who was the Minister of their church while taking care of ten kids, some who were hers, some who she was fostering. Not a dull moment!!!
Sometimes her husband or the oldest kids will offer her to take a break, go for a walk or get pampered, but she literally couldn’t. After five minutes sitting, her body was shaking from anxiety, her brain reminding her of everything she had to do. Sure enough, she landed in my office experiencing a major burn out.
As she sat and closed her eyes, an image came back from her subconscious for her to look at. At age 8, she was the oldest of five kids and her Mom was laying in bed depressed and exhausted. The tension in the house was thick. Dad will come back any minute and they didn’t know if it would be “nice fun Dad” or “the alcoholic violent monster” he could be when he stopped by the local pub. One thing was sure, if he was drunk, the house had to be squeaky clean, the baby fed, the toddler playing nicely, otherwise she knew her Mom or herself will be blamed and “punished”. So here she was, little girl cleaning, feeding, cooking, making sure everyone would be safe instead of going out to play with other kids.
Forty-five years later she was acting the same. Her Dad had passed on, her husband was a wonderful kind man, but the little girl in her was still afraid on a nonexistent monster. Realizing her pattern, after so many years of hard labor, she decided it was time to take at least an hour a day for herself and she got her sanity back.
My own story is not one of abuse, still I remember that after my husband quit on our twenty-year marriage, I went this frenzy of action. People often ask me how I bounced back from depression with suicidal thoughts to happy and creating my own company in less than six months. Honestly, I worked at it. Put all my heart and energy in healing, started my training as a coach and hypnotist at the same time. Within one year, I was writing and publishing my second book. Within three years, I was the CEO of FabYOUlicious, a six-figure company, supporting close to twenty clients a month to bounce from Stuck to Unstoppable. It was my way of “controlling my destiny” and making sure I would not “fail again”.
But I’m no super woman and I ended having to pull back to not get burned. My first thoughts were: my depression is coming back. Today I realize, I was just rebalancing my life to a normal healthy human pace. A pace that allow me to go on weekends with my boyfriend, visit my son on the East Coast or go out for a walk by the water by myself. A pace where I take care of my body through healthy eating and exercising, my heart, meeting with friends and loved ones, my mind, reading and learning and my soul, resting and meditating or doing absolutely Nothing. A pace that allow me to be a successful entrepreneur while having a life I absolutely love.
So, if you are tired of acting like Wonder Woman, you can start by trying some of my tricks:
1. Start the day by breathing for one to ten minutes doing absolutely nothing but letting your thought roll through as you are lying in bed. Then you can get up and start your day.
2. Don’t look at your cell phone or computer for at least thirty minutes after your wakeup time.
3. Choose at least one activity or non-activity daily that would bring your joy on that day and follow through. It can be anything from meeting a friend, to watching your favorite movie on Netflix, getting a massage or anything that makes your heart sing. It’s a MUST, an appointment with your most important client YOU.
4. If you have 5 minutes between meetings, breathe, listen to a meditation, go to your office window and look at the sky… Anything but checking your emails or social media.
5. Schedule your rest time. You should get at least ten minutes of rest every ninety minutes and a real lunch break that is more than thirty minutes. No eating in front of the computer.
6. Schedule at least a full day off every week. A day of doing nothing or only things you enjoy. I don’t talk about cleaning the house or running all the errands you have to run, but real me time.
7. Take some vacation!!! Go somewhere you enjoy. And as soon as you come back, plan your next vacation. A week every six to eight weeks is ideal.
8. Learn to be bored. If you are waiting for your appointment at the doctor office or for your latte at Starbucks, you don’t have to make this time productive. Wait, smile at the people waiting next to you, do nothing.
9. Turn off your cell phones or put them on do not disturb from 10 pm to 7am or any appropriate time. This is sleep time.
10. Connect with others just for pleasure. See them, get to know them… You don’t need to save them or the world each time you talk to someone new.
11. Look at the sky, at the trees, the flowers, the cracks on the pavement. They are beautiful!
Rest before your body makes you sick and forces you to stop. Life is to be enjoyed. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Yes, you can be Wonder Woman when you want to, but even she needs a break once in a while.
Tired of being tired? Let’s talk
With kindness,
Fab
